Seven
I rented a car from the airport. I made the quick drive to Grandma’s house. This was the house I’d grown up in. I sat in the driveway. Asking my Grandma details surrounding my birth was going to be hard. Grandma had spent the last 25 years avoiding any questions that might come up. I knew it was hard, especially since she had lost her only son shortly after I was born. My birth brought up so many old memories. Painful memories…But if there was a chance that I might have family, shouldn’t I ask?
Would I want that family though? A mother who’s lie led to my father’s death. She might as well have killed him with her own hands. Do I really want to be a part of that? This wasn’t just about me though. What about KT? She had a right to know what was going on too. I had to ask.
I grabbed my duffel bag from the backseat and entered the house. “Grandma?” I called out.
“Yes, baby, I’m in the kitchen. You hungry?” Grandma always felt like I was too thin. She over cooked every time I came to visit. And I always remained the same weight. It didn’t stop her though. I think it’s her way of expressing her love. After all, I’m all she has left.
I immediately wrapped my arms around the wrinkling old woman. She looked good, but I could tell that she wasn’t getting around as good as she used to. Her movements were slower. I remember when I was a kid I had a hard time keeping up with her. Now she looked as though she was moving in slow motion.
“Tell me about that man you’re seeing!” She put a plate of chicken and dumplings on the kitchen table and pushed me towards it. This was a conversation we had to have every time I came home. Despite her knowing my love for women, she still had hope that some man would come along and sweep me off my feet.
“Now Grandma, you know better.” I started to stuff my face with food. “Do I look my mother?” I threw out the statement randomly, hoping to catch her off guard. Without turning my head to look at Grandma, I knew she paused.
“I have to admit, she was a pretty child. Tall. Green eyes, just like yours. Ooh, but the child could’ve used some sun. So pale, she was practically clear.” Grandma chuckled at her own joke. I realized that was almost exactly the same description that KT had given me.
“You wouldn’t happen to have some pictures of her somewhere?” I watched her back stiffen as she stood at the sink washing dishes.
“Now why you wanna bring up the past now, baby? I’m not enough for you? You need to know about that white woman too?” She threw her dish cloth down and exited the room. Guilt took over my body. I was torn between a need to know and my Grandma’s emotions. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. I heard a thud on the table in front of me. Grandma had dropped a dusty hat box in front of me. She didn’t speak. She went right back to her dishes.
I opened the box and found stacks of pictures. A quick glance proved these pictures to be ones she’d never laid eyes on before. Can’t believe she kept these from me all these years, I thought. I closed the box and decided to look at them in private. I was angry. I needed time to cool off. I excused myself and retired to my childhood room.
I dumped the contents of the box onto the floor and sat down. I picked up picture after picture. My father with pruning shears in his hand. My father tending to huge rose bushes. My father. My father. My father. Why did she keep these hidden from me? And then I saw it. In the background of the pictures, my father was always standing in front of a huge fence with words written behind him. Could it be? I looked at several of the pictures and after piecing the letters together, I saw a name.
The next day, I found the house in the picture. Once Grandma realized I wasn’t going to drop it, she told me exactly where to find the house. I was still upset with her for hiding so much of this information from me. I could’ve had a real family growing up. As close to a real family as I could have with my father being dead.
The house was big. The gardens were bigger. As I walked through the grounds, I imagined my father working here. Nurturing the plants, the soil. He nurtured these plants, something he had never gotten the opportunity to do much of with me. I sat under a tree, eyes closed, feeling completely at peace.
“Gal, who are you and why are you on my property?” I opened my eyes to stare into eyes as green as my own. They belonged to an older white woman. She was pale, heavily wrinkled with wavy silver hair. Was this my other grandmother? She stepped back a bit from me. I believe she recognized her eyes in my face.
“I was just taking a look around. My father used to work here many years ago. I’ll be going now. Sorry for disturbing you ma’am.” I walked back to my car.
When I made it back to my Grandma’s I immediately picked up the phone. Grandma was going to fuss about the long distance charges, but if she had been more forthcoming with information, this could have all been avoided.
“KT, I think I just met our Grandmother.”
