“Well you know, yall both have it.”
I can’t get her voice or her words out of my head. What did she mean by both? I hope she knows I’m going to call her the second I get into my house. You can’t say something like that and just hang up on your child. She better pick up the phone too! If not I’m telling grandma!
OH MY GOD WHY IS THIS RED LIGHT SO FUCKING LONG?!
If I stop at one more red light…I’m….I’m…I’m just going to run it! Ok KT, just take a deep breath. You know what? Mama probably just made a mistake and then realized her biscuits were burning. Yeah…that’s reasonable. See Kaycee? You’re getting worked up over nothing.
This can not be another red light. That’s it, yellow means speed up today. That’ll show this damn city not to mess with me. Oh shit wait! Is that a cop? Did he see me? I do not need another ticket. I haven’t paid the last one. Ok good, he didn’t see me.
I hate street parking. As much as I pay for rent in this place, you would think I’d have my own parking spot. Oh hell…I really hope Mrs. Charles isn’t sitting on her porch. If I tell her one more time that I’m not interested in her son, I’m going to move.
Well…there goes that wish “Hi Mrs. Charles. How are you this afternoon?”
“Oh hey 3B.” Mrs. Charles responded. She never called me by my name. Instead she called all her tenants by their apartment number. “You know my Georgie was just promoted at work. Want me to go inside and get him?”
“No thanks Mrs. Charles. Maybe some other time.” Even if I were into men, I would not want some fat, 40 year old virgin, who lives with his mama!
Finally, I’m home. Ok Kaycee, before you call mama, calm down.
Ring….Ring…Ring…
“Tobyn residents. How can I help you?” Mama always sounded to pleasant.
“Mama….what did you mean by both?” I don’t have time to beat around the bush with this woman.
“Kaycee…baby…what are you talking about?” Mama asked with fake confusion.
“Mama…don’t patronize me. You said we both have this birthmark. What did you mean?”
“Oh baby, that was an accident. I just slipped that’s all.” I wanted to believe her so badly, but something didn’t seem right.
“Mama….I met someone out here and she has the same birthmark. It’s even in the same place.” How do I ask my mama if she has an illegitimate child? “How could that be?”
“Kaycee…there are billions of people on this planet. Of course it’s possible for someone else to have it hunnie.”
“You sound like AJ mama.” I hate it when they did that.
“Oh how is my sweetheart Alyssa-Joy?” Mama asked obviously trying to change the subject.
“Mama, she is fine. Please don’t change the subject.” I need to add some fuel to this fire. I need to know. “Listen mama…this girl is from Charleston. She was raised by her grandmother and her father use to work for a very wealthy, white family in the area. Aren’t grandma and grampy settled in Charleston”
I thought she might have hung up on me with all the silence I heard in place of her response.
“Hello?” I pried. “Mama are you there?”
“I’m here Kaycee. What did you say your friends name was?” Mama asked as if I actually said a name. I didn’t though.
“Her name is Angela Brown. Why?” Mama, why would you care about her name if she was just some stranger and this is a coincidence?
“Angela…..” Mama’s voice trailed off as if the name sounded familiar. “That is a beautiful name. How old is she?”
“She’s 25 mama, but why does that matter?” I wished she would act like we we’re having a conversation.
“Yes, you’re grandparents do live there. It’s such a beautiful city. Especially in the winter. I spent many winters there. I even went to help your grandma when she was really sick the winter you were seven.” Finally, the woman was giving up some answers.
“I think I remember that. Didn’t you and daddy argue right before you left?” I asked hoping she would continue spilling the beans. I didn’t want to bring up any bad memories though.
There was a pause “Oh…umm…you have such a good memory Kaycee. Your father and I did argue before I left. But…it was because we I was going to take care of my mom and not stay with him. He got over it.”
“Oh ok. I think I remember that now. You came back in January. But you left again until the end of the summer.” What is going on here? What is my mother trying to cover up?
So let me get this straight. My mother was in Charleston the winter of 34 and went back and forth for months at a time until the end of summer 35. If she got pregnant, she could have totally kept it a secret. At least from her children. I need to sit down…..no…I need a drink.
“Mama, is there something you need to tell me?” I hoped this question would remind mama that I was not seven years old anymore. I remembered that argument. It was a lot heavier than just wanting my mama to be around. I remember mama crying.
“No Kaycee, I don’t have anything else to say.” Mama was angry and I could tell. There was an awkward silence. “Look Kaycee, things happen sometimes and you can’t go back to change them. No matter how much you want to, what’s done is done. You remember that while you live your life!.”
“Mama, why are you so mad? If this was all a big coincidence….if you were really in Charleston because grandma was sick…why are you so mad? What are you hiding from me?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing…what I was thinking.
“Nothing Kaycee. What I did in my past, is my past. I do not have to answer to you! I am the parent and you are the child. Don’t forget that!”
I started to respond to mama but she hung up before I could say another word. I can’t believe that woman hung up on me. Now…I really need a drink. I need….my best friend. She didn’t have to say it….I know she had another child…I just know she did…and it’s Angela.
