Savi Smith: Making Up

“Sellers!”

The woman turns on her heels towards a familiar voice. Her slow smile takes all the venom out of her words, “What the hell do you want?”

Sue puts her hands on her hips, “You’re still a bitch, I see.”

Charlie mocks Sue’s stance, “And you’re still short, I see.”

“Don’t be an ass. You know damn good and well you’re scared of me.”

Charlie raises one eyebrow, “Am I? And here I thought I only felt lust around you, Reid.”

Sue swallows hard, “Whatever.” She changes the subject, “What are you doing here?”

“Media shit. What about you?”

Sue’s face scrunches, “Media shit, too. Think they put us in the same conference room?” She shuffles past Charlie, trying not to touch any part of the woman’s body.

Charlie notices Sue’s avoidance of any sexual topic, so she presses the issue to get under the woman’s skin, “If they did, I hope there’s a bed in there. You look good out o’ that jersey.”

“Give me a break, Sellers.” Sue walks past the woman to the door of the conference room. As she passes she mutters, “You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if you got me in bed again.”

Charlie turns and walks just behind Sue, “But I’d know what to do with you if I got you in bed again.” She reaches up and holds the door open with her arm over Sue’s head. She smirks when the woman passes, “And I’m sure you could figure out what to do with me.”

Sue growls under her breath, “I damn sure did a decent job last time.”

Charlie can only moan softly, “Yes, you did.” The memories come rushing back to Diana’s mind. The night was a blur for the most part, but she remembers that Sue had made love to her as if she’d never get to make love to another human being ever again. It was the night before Sue left for Seattle. The night her college career ended…the day before she broke up with Charlie.

Getting over that break up had been the hardest thing Charlie Sellers had ever had to do. But like every other challenge in her life, Charlie emotionally disconnected and shrugged the situation off. She convinced herself that she didn’t need Sue Reid. She’s Charlie Sellers. She didn’t need anyone.

The gangly but talented kid from Southern California who had all the potential in the world suddenly threw herself into her workouts. She developed and perfected plays. She absorbed basketball as if she were a sponge. Before Sue left, Charlie had worn her heart on her sleeve. Once Sue was gone, people often wondered if they’d ever see her heart again. That’s not to say that Charlie became a rude, bitter woman who was hated by everyone. Hardly. She smiled, laughed, engaged, and befriended most people. But everyone knew it was a façade. And that one day that façade would break and the real Charlie Sellers would have to come out. One day.

Now, sitting in the same room with Sue, Charlie is suddenly nervous. She’s got a whole night and day left in New York with nothing to do. She wonders…

When the last question is answered and Sue’s job is done, she stands and looks towards the door where Charlie is leaning, watching her. The reporter packs his things quickly and leaves Charlie and Sue alone in the room. He nods as he passes Charlie. Sue speaks, “You waitin’ on me?”

Without thinking, she retorts, “I have been for two years.” Even though her brain is cussing at her, she shows no outward sign that she just blurted that out without thinking. She knows that the conversation to follow will not be pretty.

Sue recovers from the shock pretty quickly, “I hardly think you’ve saved yourself just for me.”

“Why do you think that? Because I’m such a slut and would sleep with any chick that spread her legs for me?”

“No, I actually figured you would have had relationships with men. Because then you wouldn’t emotionally connect and it would be easier for you.”

Charlie nods slowly and then bites back, “Is that what you did?”

Sue’s jaw clenches, “No. I was in a two year relationship with a woman.”

“Before or after the meaningless sex with men?”

Now Sue’s pissed. She advances towards Charlie and pushes the woman back against the wall, “Now listen here, Charlie, I didn’t mean to hurt you by assuming you’d had sex with men. But I haven’t heard a damn word from you since I left Connecticut. Not anything personal anyway. And even though you and I haven’t talked a lot since my last day there, you should still know damn well that I am not the type of person who goes out and fucks just anyone.”

Charlie’s eyes narrow into slits, “Neither do I.”

“Fine,” Sue huffs, “point taken.”

As Sue turns to walk away, Charlie grabs her arm and pulls Sue against her, “Wait just a minute. It’s my turn.”

Sue swallows hard, “What do you need to say?”

“Ever since that day I have hated myself for not saying this to you. I have wanted so many times to call you, drunk and sober, happy and sad, and tell you this. But I knew that one day, if I waited and took my time, the right moment would come up. This is that moment.”

“Then say it.”

Charlie steels herself against the woman, “Fuck you.”

Sue gasps, “What?”

“You heard me. Fuck you. Fuck you for fucking me. Fuck you for making me believe you loved me. And fuck you most of all for making me love you. Fuck you for leaving, for putting everything else ahead of me when I let nothing else get ahead of you. Fuck you, Sue Reid, for making me want you and need you and love you even today. Fuck you.”

Sue looks into Charlie’s eyes, which are cold now with anger, “Charlie, you don’t mean that.”

“Yes I do. Every damn word. Since you called my name an hour ago and that chill went down my spine I’ve wanted to do something to you. Something that makes you feel the way I have for two fucking years.”

“What’s that?”

“Make you beg for me. Make you call out my name like it’s the last word you’ll ever say. Make you crawl on the bed and cry for me. Make you arch your back and beg my memory to let you go.” Through clenched teeth she growls, “I want you to want me so fucking bad you can’t breathe without it sounding like my name. And then, when I’m done with you, I want you to want me again just like that. Until you can’t see, can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t do a damn thing without seeing my face, feeling my fingers inside you, wanting my tongue on you, needing my lips on yours. Because for two years of my life, every basketball was your body. Every face had your dimples. Every voice came with that transplanted New York accent. Everything I did, said, thought, and wanted had something to do with you. And I want you to feel like that. And I want you to feel like that about me.”

“Who says I didn’t? Or that I don’t?”

“Because you walked away entirely too easily. You got on that plane like you were going to miss out on the world if you didn’t go. As if you were leaving nothing behind that meant a damn thing to you. Like everything you were leaving behind was an inconvenience to you.”

“You want to talk about convenient, Sellers? Let’s talk about convenient. How convenient is it for you to assume you’re the only one who was hurt that day? Why is it convenient? Because if I admitted to being killed on the inside when I walked away from you, you might have to admit some guilt in not following me. I begged you to transfer to Washington. But you said that UConn was ‘Seller’s territory’. I cried for three days straight lying on Ashley’s couch, praying you’d change your mind. And you’d only say how sorry you were for me and tell me that if I wanted to be with you that I’d have to stay. That’s mighty fucking convenient for you if you ask me!”

“You don’t really believe that load of bullshit, do you?”

“Of course I do! Just as much as you believe that you’ve wanted me every damn day for 2 years and even standing here today!”

“I do!”

Sue scoffs, “Oh god, whatever, Diana! Fuck you, too then!”

Charlie’s eyes flash fiery red and she groans, “Fuck me.”

“What?” Sue barely gets the words out before Charlie’s lips are crushing her own. The woman’s tongue invades her mouth and Sue’s hands push against Charlie’s shoulders. When she breaks the kiss, she gasps, “What the hell are you doing?”

Charlie turns quickly, using her height advantage, and presses Sue against the wall. Her hand disappears under Sue’s jersey and finds Sue’s trembling stomach, “You want this. Don’t lie to me. And I want you. We have a little bit of unfinished business.”

“Charlie,” Sue fights against her rapidly heating body, “not like this.”

“Then how?” Charlie’s fingers pinch Sue’s nipple, “Sweet and romantic? Fuck that. We’re not like that. When we want it, Sue, we want it.” She cants her hips forward to rub suggestively against Sue, “And god help us do we want it.”

“I can’t.”

“Bullshit. I know you miraculously became a single woman on April 10th. Don’t think I don’t know why.” She smiles down at the woman as her hand squeezes the softness under it, “And I’ve thanked God every day since that He gave you the good sense to break up with that bitch so that I can take you properly. Don’t get me wrong. I’d take you right now, single or not, but it makes it taste better this way.”

Breathless, Sue knows she’s caught, “Charlie-”

Charlie challenges, her lips millimeters from Sue’s, “What, Sue? What?”

“Fuck me.”

Savi Smith is a novelist, poet, writer, & journalist. In short, an avid lover of words. “I write my truth so that you may find & live your own.”